Pam Spaulding started at the Louisville Courier-Journal & Times in 1972, a year after her internship at those newspapers.  For over 30 years she has photographed one upper-middle class family as they raised three children and then as those children left home for lives of their own. All three of the children are now older than she was when she started this project. The family has never let her go. The book is called An American Family: Three Decades with the McGarveys.

In 1976 I had my first child and was so stunned by the changes in my life that I decided to try to find another first-time parent to follow for a year.  My thesis was” the growth and development of new parents during their first year as parents.”  I called a Lamaze instructor and got the names of four or five parents who were going to have their first baby.  The first three or four turned me down on the phone when I asked if I could record their lives for a year.  Well, any sensible person would say no to such a request.

David McGarvey, center, says the Pledge of Allegiance for the first time in kindergarten. Three of his classmates in the picture will stay with him through eighth grade.  (September 1982, Pam Spaulding)

The family welcomes David home from a tour in Iraq. John McGarvey, right, who rarely shows emotion, held back tears when the crowd at the airport broke into applause. (November 2006, Pam Spaulding)

I was a little smarter when I made the next call.  I told the McGarveys that I had a story idea for the newspaper and could I come talk to them about it.  There’s some psychological rule that if someone agrees to one request they will probably agree to the next request.

So I visited with them in their home and they did agree to a month-by-month trial basis.  Judy, the mother, now says that after the first month she was so used to me being around that she didn’t pay attention to me.

We got used to communicating a lot on the phone so I would know when something was going to happen.  But usually, when I had an available day, I would ask to come over and I didn’t care what was planned because I just wanted normal day-to-day family activities.

At the end of the year, I thought my story was over and I would move on to another long-term story.  But Judy didn’t know that journalists often get really close to their subjects and then when they get their story they move on and seldom have much contact with those people again.  She kept calling me to tell me what was happening in their lives and I slowly began taking pictures again, but not with any real direction.

Then I attended a photo workshop with Sam Abell and he gave me the encouragement and the vision to continue.  I had always known that this family had the core values of our culture.  They were just a normal family, not the dysfunctional families you see on the T.V.  I realized what I really valued was making historical pictures for the future.  I wanted to record what was so ordinary now that we barely noticed it but in the future I thought small things like going to a fast-food restaurant would be extraordinary.  I would encourage all new photographers to seek out someone who can help them find their direction.

So then I had a purpose and I’m like a snapping turtle when I grab hold of an idea.  I didn’t have a plan of how long I would photograph.  I just concentrated on the moment and didn’t think about what I would do with the pictures.  I rarely made prints and the family didn’t see 90 % of the pictures used in the book until just before the book was published.  They did not request any picture be removed from the book even though they groaned at some of them.

David and Morgan McGarvey lend their huffs and puffs in blowing out the candle on Sara McGarvey’s first birthday cake. (May 1984, Pam Spaulding)

On the day Sara turns 21 years old, Morgan McGarvey and his girlfriend, Chris Danner, help her celebrate in New Orleans. The marine between Sara and Chris gave Sara her first kiss. (May 2004, Pam Spaulding)

All three of the children are now older than I was when I started this project.  How is it possible to spend this much time with a family?  The first answer is that I really like hanging around them.  The second is that I believed I was making important pictures for the future; a visual history of our time.

The third is that they changed my life.  Judy is a great mother and I learned how to be a good mother from watching her.  Judy and I grew up about 60 miles away from each other, but given that close proximity, we couldn’t have had a more different background.  I grew up on an isolated dairy farm where all I knew was work and I rarely even talked with anybody at school.  The idea of having fun was a foreign idea to me.  Judy grew up in the city.  She was a cheerleader and active in every school activity.  John also grew up in an affluent situation.  He is the most honest, trustworthy person I have ever known.  Because I had so much respect for them as people, it made it easier to be comfortable around them.  Still, odd as it is, it IS a relationship and all relationships must be managed.  There are always times in any relationship when you grate on each other’s nerves.

Judy and I have probably spent more of our adult lives with each other than with anyone else.  I’ve gone on many vacations with the family and have spent hours and hours in their home.  I have been with their children when they as parents couldn’t be there.  i.e. in surgery, in school, at proms, etc.  I am extremely proud of their children and I had not one thing to do with how well they turned out.  The kids love me, but how could they not love someone who was literally focused on them their entire lives?  I was at their ball games.  I was at their talent shows.  I was at their birthday parties.  They all had an epiphany when they realized that not every family has a photographer who follows them around.

But for the McGarvey family, it was normal to have me around.  I have been like the furniture that you don’t notice anymore.  Early on when Morgan (second child) was dating the woman who is now his wife, she asked him to tell her something she didn’t know about himself and he said, “Well my family has a photographer who follows us around.”  Apparently, she gave a big “What?”  I’m kind of proud that that was what he thought to tell her.

Every one of them when they saw the pictures said to the writer that they didn’t remember me being there for that event.  They were often surprised at the pictures I had of them.

Early on in my career I would berate myself for not having charisma that made people want to be around me.  I was much too much a back in the shadows kind of person.  I often cried on the way to assignments, including the McGarvey family in the first year, because I would be so out of my comfort zone.  Gradually I’ve come to realize that I have other gifts.  For one thing, people trust me.  That’s not something you can make happen.  It’s just a gift.  For another thing I have the gift of patience.  I don’t mind waiting for hours for something to happen.  And finally, I have the gift of being able to work hard without it showing.  I would encourage all photographers who doubt themselves to look for their own gifts and find stories that match those gifts.

I cannot believe that I’ve spent more than 30 years with this family.  It just went by so quickly.  The most important thing I can say is to be careful how you use your time.  There is less of it than you think.  Your energy doesn’t last forever.

Morgan McGarvey holds hands with his grandfather and “best friend,” Elmer Morgan. (August 1986, Pam Spaulding)

Two decades later, Morgan supports his grandfather as they climb stairs. (June 2007, Pam Spaulding)

*Captions reprinted by arrangement with the National Geographic Society from the book An American Family: Three Decades with the McGarveys by Pam Spaulding. Copyright ©2009 Pam Spaulding. Last names were added to the captions to give context.